Time and time again I get told that maybe the underlying issue to all my dates is me. Maybe I’m being too picky or my standards are too high. Maybe I’m expecting too much. Maybe I’m not willing to roll with the punches. I’ve taken a lot of time to think about all of this and I’ve come to one conclusion: nope, you’re wrong!
Point 1: Why should I lower my standards? Why should I settle? Why should anyone settle for less than what they want or what they deserve? How awful would you, the guy, feel if I were to just settle? If I got scared to be alone so I just decided that the next guy I date is the one. That’s no way to build a life.
Point 2: It’s a first date and I know they don’t all go perfectly. Awkward conversation is going to happen, because more than likely you’re out with someone you barely know, but is it too much to ask that a guy actually act like a gentleman? Open the car door or hell, open the door to the restaurant. Pick the girl up from her house. Do not ask her to come to you and DO NOT under any circumstances meet her somewhere. That’s just tacky. It’s pretty simple men, just have something planned. There is nothing more annoying than when a guy asks us out and as soon as we get in their vehicle we get asked “so, where do you wanna go?” “What do you wanna do?” THIS. IS. A. DATE. Take the lead and be the man. HAVE. IT. PLANNED.
Point 3: I have been told that I can’t roll with the punches, and like many other woman that’s because I’m a planner. I can be spontaneous though. So, if you’ve planned something for outside and it starts to rain or it’s too cold, or whatever the reason might be, I can roll with it. We can think of something else that we would both enjoy. It’s usually at these times that you actually have the most fun, but as I stated early I can NOT and will NOT deal with the guy not having anything planned at all.
I know that this probably makes me sound a little high maintenance, but the truth is I’m not. A first date is a first impression. I put a lot of work into what I wear, how I do my hair, the color of eye shadow I apply, and the shoes I wear. It’s important to me to make a good impression on YOU so why would it be asking too much to have YOU make a good impression on ME?
As time goes on and I get to navigate you through the awful love life I have I think it will be clear to everyone, men and women, that the dates that most of the dates on have not been entirely MY fault. Of course, I give very little second chances so maybe that is my fault, but a first date is like a first interview. If you don’t make an outstanding impression on the people interviewing you, they won’t call you back for a second interview. To me, the dating scene is the same way. If you can’t manage to make a good impression on the first date, I probably won’t call you back for a second date. It’s pretty simple though, so I am going to give you a list of what most woman want out of a first date.
1. Dinner — Dinner is always going to be your go to and it should almost always be included in your first date plans. However, I don’t mean take her to the local Steak N’ Shake or even Texas Roadhouse. Take her somewhere a little more romantic. It doesn’t have to be over the top expensive, especially if you’re going to do something afterwards, but it should be nice. Dim lighting, a bottle of wine (unless you’re a recovering alcoholic…then maybe just water), and spring for the appetizer! If you’re planning on JUST a dinner it better be something that will leave an impression on her: I suggest doing a Mystery dinner or a backwards dinner.
2. Movie — Although, it’s not my first choice it can be a good way to get past the awkwardness because you aren’t required to talk. Make sure it’s a funny movie. Don’t spring for romantic or superhero action movie. If you can’t think of anything else to do and you do choose to go for the movie, go to the movie first. Going to the movie prior to dinner will give you something to talk about at dinner, so you’re avoiding the awkward conversation. If it’s warm outside and a movie is on your to-do list for the night, I suggest trying to find a drive-in, trust me this will win you major brownie points with your special someone!
3. Wine Tasting — This is one of my favorites and I have only had a guy take me wine tasting once and that was only because I mentioned it! Seriously though, every girl likes wine. It’s an informal place with people all around and you have a lot of conversation with the bar tender who is telling you about the wine. It’s almost like a class so you don’t have to come up with tons of conversation, but in between tastings you can both chat about your work, the wine, or your family. Whether it’s going to an actual winery or going to a restaurant that has a wine tasting section, this is a great first date idea!
4. Rock Climbing — This one is always fun, some girls get embarrassed to do these things around guys, but It’s a good activity to get you both to loosen up around each other. It’s definitely a bonding experience and its fun. It will get you two laughing together and it will usually get the girl to open up a little bit more.
5. Live Bands — Enjoying a dinner and then heading out to have a couple of drinks and watch a live band perform is a wonderful date. I can’t really go into too much detail on this one because it pretty much explains itself. It doesn’t have to be someone famous. Most of the time, you’ll have the most fun by going to little hole in wall bar and listening to a no-name artist.
The point is gentlemen, be a gentlemen. Have the night planned and make it wonderful. A few hiccups along the way are going to happen, don’t let them ruin the night, laugh about them and move on. Make good conversation, don’t hide who you are right away, make it known. Get to know her and romance her. It’ll go a long way, I promise!
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